Hebrews 13:5-8 “The Art of Being Alone”

06 Aug Hebrews 13:5-8 “The Art of Being Alone”

   Hebrews 13:5-8       “The Art of Being Alone”

One June morning a few years ago, I went out to get the newspaper.  It wasn’t raining but that came later in the morning as it seemed it rained a lot in that particular June.  Anyway, I notice a young robin on the sidewalk that was just sitting there.  I skirted it and got the paper.  I suppose the bird was old enough to fly but probably not very far.  It was still standing there when I walked back inside.  The strange thing was that it never moved and the parents weren’t around.  I went back inside and forgot about the little bird until I went out front again at noon.  This little bird died all alone in the same place where I saw it earlier.  I felt bad even though I knew there was nothing I could have done.  It reminded me of Psalm 102 where God tells us that “I am like a desert owl of the wilderness, I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop.”

Today, I would like to talk about a severe crisis we have in this country.  It is the crisis of loneliness.  If you are an older person and you winter in Florida or Arizona or where ever, be aware of this.  It’s something like 90% of all nursing home residents in Florida never have a visitor.  90%!  As a pastor I had the honor and privilege of visiting many of our elderly in the area homes.  Even there I saw people who had been forgotten.  But this is just the tip of the iceberg.  Today with all our electronics and ways of communication, we are even lonelier than ever because we are not learning how to communicate.  We do not know how to talk to each other anymore.  Many of the problems we have today are a result of this.  We don’t know how to communicate and we become lonely.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they find people who use electronics all the time will be the loneliest people of the future.  The sad part of that is that many are young people!

And this loneliness isn’t restricted to people who are alone for whatever reason.  We also have those who are desperately lonely and they are in marriage or some sort of relationship.  Much of our drug and alcohol problems are caused because people are lonely.

Loneliness is an epidemic and it has been with us for a long time.  It all began in the Garden of Eden when man was alone and God made woman to help and keep him company.  Somehow they got sidetracked and sin entered the world.  With this sin we became lonely because we were separated from God.  I’ll get back to this in a minute.

We also read about the man who was lonely, sick and paralyzed for 38 years.  He sat in the same spot begging for some help.  He had no friends and he was lonely and tired.  Can you imagine just how inhumane humans were before Jesus entered the world?  If you were hurt or sick, you did just like that little robin did.  You sat there and died with no help and no one who cared.  Luckily for this paralyzed man, Jesus came along and He cared.  He became the man’s friend and He healed him.  The best part of all this is that Jesus wants to be the friend of every person here, in the area and in the world.

I think that we have to face the facts.  Loneliness is everywhere and it has been here from the beginning of time.  I’m just going to mention a couple of reasons for loneliness.  First of all, it just happens.  Death is just the natural cycle of life.  A spouse dies and the other is lonely.  A parent dies and the children are lonely.  I’m sure that you can think of other instances where people become lonely.  Sometimes it is just part of life.

Charles Swindoll talks about an ad in a Kansas newspaper that read, “I will listen to you talk for 30 minutes without comment for $5.00.”  Swindoll said, “Sounds like a hoax, doesn’t it?  But the person was serious.  Did anyone call?  You bet!  It wasn’t long before this individual was receiving 10-20 calls a day.  The pain of loneliness was so severe that some were willing to try anything for a half hour of companionship.”  There is more loneliness that we can imagine.

Fortunately, much of it can be prevented.  Much of it is a result of sin.  This is my reasoning.  When God made this world, it was perfect.  Loneliness was not there but God didn’t want Adam to be alone.  There is a difference.  It’s like when we get to heaven, we will never be alone or suffer from loneliness because we will be in the presence of God all the time.  Anyway, sin entered the world through Adam and Eve.  We have been paying for it ever since.

Here’s what I mean.  When we sin, we are going against the will of God.  Some of you may not think that is such a big deal but listen up for a minute.  The Bible tells us that divorce is usually wrong and I agree.  Now don’t get me wrong here.  When someone up and leaves there isn’t a lot you can do about it.  There are lots of different scenarios here and I try to deal with each one individually.  But much of the time, one of the parties in a divorce gets hurt more than the other and the result is loneliness.  There are many ways that people deal with this and some are good and some not so good.

Or how about drug or alcohol abuse?  This can start for a variety of reasons.  But the end result is the same for the addict.  They keep taking another drink or another hit so that they don’t have to face themselves and their loneliness which has been caused by whatever addiction which in turn makes you drink some more which makes you lonelier because no likes to be around a drunk or an addict.  Or if you are lonely you try to dress as sexy as you can so people will notice you so you don’t have to be so lonely.  Someone notices you and then they drop you so you are worse off so you dress even more suggestively and attract another one who drops you and the cycle goes on.  Loneliness can lead to all sorts of vicious cycles.

People, sin separates us from God.  For some, you don’t know what it is like to be with God so you don’t really understand.  Today, hopefully we will help you understand this a bit better.  For those of you who are already Christians but you are caught up in some sort of sin cycle, you know what you are missing.  I know from experience that it is hard to come back to God because we usually have to tell ourselves that we are wrong.  And I know that is one of the hardest things to do, admit you’re wrong.

I hope you all know where this is going.  The place to go to cure your loneliness is God.  There is no other place.  God will heal all your troubles and ills if you let Him.  However, that is not what we do.  The first thing we try to do is go to other people for the cure to loneliness.  Most of the time, this is totally wrong.

Here is what I mean.  One of the most common places to go and find relief from loneliness is the bar.  I’m not talking about alcoholics or addicts at this time.  I’m just referring to lonely people.  They gather in the bars.  Did you know that one of the busiest days of the year for a bar is on Thanksgiving Eve?  People have no place to go so they head to the bar.  It’s a sad fact but true.  Anyway, these people will be just as lonely when they get up the next morning as they were before they went to the bar.  You see, the bar might offer a little temporary relief but only until the alcohol wears off.

Another place to go is to dating sites on the computer.  People try to meet each other to cure their loneliness.  They haven’t been successful in the real world for whatever reason so they try the computer because it is easy.  It’s convenient.  You just punch in a few things and bingo, you are lined up with your dream person.  Unfortunately, this dream person is just a dream.  Now please don’t get me wrong on this.  There have been some wonderful matches made on the computer and that is good.  But usually, from what people tell me, these dating sites are a waste of time and money.  Why?  Because when you are looking for a mate, the old fashioned way of physically meeting someone is still the best, although there are exceptions.

God is the best way in any of these situations and all other situations.  There are no exceptions.  My philosophy is just don’t even go into the bar.  Don’t even bother signing up for a date.  Don’t worry about it.  My advice to anyone is to go to Jesus Christ.  Let yourself rest in His loving arms.  I’m reading a book about resting in Christ.  His yoke is easy.  So no matter what you situation or problem, learn to rest in Christ.  The next thing you know, things aren’t so bad.  I have known several people who have been all alone in life.  Some struggle but the ones who have learned how to rest in Christ do a lot better.  Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and the life.  Go to Him all the time so that when you really need a cure for loneliness, you will already know how to rest.

Now I will not say that God will not use people on websites or bars or where ever for His purpose.  It’s just that it’s not likely to happen.  God has a cure for loneliness and we find it in Genesis 2 beginning in verse 19.  Adam was alone.  He wasn’t lonely because he was with God and he was busy.  I just mentioned that the yoke of Jesus is easy.  However, it is still a yoke.  It still takes effort on our part.  You do not get a free ride.  This is why welfare like we have in most of this country does not work.  People were made to work as we see in Genesis.

God told Adam to name all the animals.  Now this was a job that kept Adam busy for a while.  As I was reading this the other day, I thought of something that I would like to share.  We usually like to think that Adam was brought sheep and he named that animal a sheep.  He did this for all the animals.  This is the traditional thought and it’s probably right.  But now for a little Pastor John theology on this.  What happened when there were 3 sheep brought before Adam?  Did he call them sheep, sheep, and sheep?  Did he name them all in a species way that we like to think or did he actually give them names, like Tom, Dick and Harry?  If he is naming the animals one might think that they all had different names even if they came from the same species.  Then he would have John, the sheep, Sharon the sheep and so on.  That would keep Adam much busier and it would be more productive as he would now know each individual sheep.  And we all know that God is all about knowing everyone on an individual basis.  As I said that this is Pastor John theology and nothing more.

Now before you dismiss this nugget I want to fast forward to modern times.  Unlike Adam, we get lonely because of sin.  All trouble traces back to sin.  In today’s world we have lots of loneliness as I have just mentioned.  Often times this leads to depression which in turn leads to more loneliness.  This cycle is vicious.  All sin cycles are vicious.  Often times we accidently fall into them and we can’t get out again.  So God is telling us that the way out of this cycle is work.  The way out of most sin cycles is work.

Have you ever notice how happy people are when they are working at something that means something to them?  Being a workaholic is another sin cycle that I’m not going to talk about today.  Today, I’m so happy because I’m so busy trying to do the Lord’s work.  I loved putting on a Revival a few years ago.  I love putting these services together.  So if the Lord made you a farmer or a housewife or a laborer, you will be happy doing these things.  Whatever the Lord wants you to do, you will be able to be happy to do it.

You know when I was young, I thought happiness and satisfaction came from the people around me.  This came from my friends.  This is one of the hardest lessons that I have ever had to learn.  People don’t make you happy.  People don’t give you joy.  Only God can provide these things and when He does, you realize that you have drank from the water that will really quench your thirst.  Only God does these things and He may use friends but deep down, it is all God.  Lee Strobel says, “Loneliness is such a humiliating malady that it ought to have its own politically correct euphemism: ’relationally challenged.’ Or its own telethon.  Anything to make it safer to confess.  Because right now it’s a taboo, an affliction of losers and misfits. And – to be honest – of respectable people like you and me.”  If you think this is a little harsh, recently at a Christian conference 92% of attendees said they had suffered from some sort of loneliness.

There are people here today who suffer from loneliness.  I probably don’t know who you are but you do if you suffer from this.  Jesus Christ is the wisest person who has ever lived because He is God.  My suggestion to you is to go to him in prayer.  Learn to rest in His arms.  If you don’t know how to do this, just ask Him.  He will tell you.  Find out what your gift is or what your talent is and try to use this.  Often times we get stuck in jobs that take the joy right out of life.  I know about this.  I’ve been there.  Remember, I worked at the Post Office.  God can help here also as He will help you to cope with these types of situations.  As I said the other evening, God is always ready and able to help you with anything and everything.

So try to strengthen your relationship with God as you try to keep busy with the work of God.  Loneliness, it’s everywhere.  Fortunately, God is in more everywhere’s than loneliness.  The art of losing loneliness is giving it all to Jesus.  This is the time to go to Jesus with all you got so that He can give you all He’s got.  Jesus will always be there for you and He will never let you down.  Thank you, Jesus, for first loving us.  Let’s pray.