9/8/19 Matthew 18:15-20 “Obey and Follow”

06 Sep 9/8/19 Matthew 18:15-20 “Obey and Follow”

9/8/19    Matthew 18:15-20      “Obey and Follow”

I think that often times we really try to make things a lot harder than they actually are.  In the modern times we have computers and technology so we can discuss problems to death.  I think that this is what is happening in Washington.  Congress, and that means both parties, is so good at telling us what the problems of this country are while they are very, very poor at actually solving the areas of concern.  They would rather razzle dazzle us with facts and figures than to actually try to do something.  These leaders have led us to become a welfare nation that likes to do nothing!  I have written letters to our senators about problems with present programs and you wouldn’t believe the answers I got in return.  One time I got two highly technical and complex answers but they had nothing to do with the problem.  Well I, for one, am very glad that this is not how God works.  God’s plan is very simple.  Obey and follow or Trust and Obey!  Today we will be looking at some very straight forward steps to address conflict.  By doing this we can find out just how strong we can be as a fellowship of believers.

Every so often in our area we have a rather large population of skunks and raccoons.  Or should I say that we have a large population of grubs that draw out the skunks and raccoons.  Here is a quick story by Doug Henry of an event that happened a several years ago in Darlington, Maryland.  A woman named Edith was coming home to her 8 children on a Saturday afternoon after being at a neighbor’s house.  When she entered the house she noticed that five of her children were huddled around something.  They were busy chatting and were excited about whatever was there.  So Edith quietly came over to them and peered into the middle of the group.  She was horrified and couldn’t believe what she saw.  Right smack dab in the middle of the children was a group of baby skunks.  The alarmed mom screamed and hollered to the children, “Run, children, run.”  Each one of the children grabbed a baby skunk and ran.  I don’t think that I have to spell out to you what happened next.

There is a lesson to be learned from this story and it is related as to how we often times deal with conflict, which is the topic of today’s Scripture.  I think that we have many ineffective ways of dealing with conflict.  We can scream and holler like at our skunk family.  We can be sulky and pout.  We can be sneaky and dastardly and plot revenge.  But I think that we all know from experience that most of these ways are pretty useless.  But we keep doing them even though we know that nothing will happen.

Even our society will try to show us how to settle things.  We see two boxers or wrestlers that fight it out until there is a winner.  Or we can see a debate or a lawsuit where two people argue it out until there is a winner.  It is this mindset that is a large part of the problem.  We have to think in terms of winning and losing.  This doesn’t work well in a church.  And it is my opinion that this doesn’t work well in society either.  What we should be trying for is for reconciliation and the ability to move forward with positive results.

Jesus begins this passage today addressing brothers or believers.  In our modern vernacular, this would be inclusive of brothers and sisters in Christ.  The point is that Jesus is talking about believers.  In three verses He is going to tell us how do deal with our fellow believers.  This will also include church conflict.  We can try to use these on the outside world but I am afraid we will not have results as good.  This is probably because they don’t have any rules like this, and they don’t really care because they have no Lord and Savior.  They are lost in more ways than one and they don’t even know it.

But even in churches we have a problem.  How many times do we get caught up in doing things on our own and forget about others in the church?  Or how often do we disagree with how something is done?  Or worse yet from my perspective, how often do we disagree with the pastor?  You may be in a church right now that seems to be rather conflict free at the moment but we all know that things can happen.  And when they do, Jesus tells us how to handle it.

There are really four steps to conflict resolution.  The first step is to go to the person to whom you are in conflict or whom you disagree.  And you must go to them with the right attitude.  It must be an attitude of humility.  If you approach someone with the attitude that you have to be in the right, then everyone will be a loser.  Or if you approach someone with a chip on our shoulder, then we all lose.

Many times I have seen people attack others with a chip on their shoulder or a bad attitude.  I think that one of the most tragic things that we see on TV today is the total disrespect that TV children have for just about everything and that includes parents.  It is not uncommon for a child to get in the face of an adult.  And then we wonder “where do our children get these ideas.”  I hate to say it but we allow them, even encourage them to have these bad attitudes.  I also think that we learn how to shoot other people by watching TV, but that is getting a little off topic.

Anyway, you are to go to the person with the right attitude and you should do it as soon as possible.  The longer you wait to do something like this the worse it can be.  This is because you will let your imaginations run wild with outrageous imagined consequences.  Or you may gossip to others about the situation which is never good.  I ran across a very interesting statistic from John Maxwell.  He found that when confronting someone in a conflict situation that 50% of the people didn’t even know there was a problem.  30% know there is a problem but don’t know how to solve it and 20% know there is a problem and don’t want to solve it.

In other words, 80% of the people in these situations will be willing to listen and try to solve the problem if you just go to them.  Just think about that for a minute.  80% of the people that you are upset with can be calmed down by just visiting with them about the problem.  And if you go as a humble servant of the Lord, things should work out.

Now we have to move on to the second part of this.  If you are dealing with the 20% who will not listen, then take one or two others with you when you talk to that person.  The reason for this is that if the person is wrong and needs correcting, then others will be there to back you up in your assertions and make unbiased recommendations.

This does not mean that you take people with you so that it looks like you are ganging up on the person and trying to bully them.  The object here, once again, is reconciliation.  It is not a matter of my being right and you being wrong.  It is not a matter of winning and losing.  We want to get back together so that ministry can happen.  And also you do not want to take just any person along with you or ones that will only agree with you.  This again might be perceived as bullying.  You want to come to the church and find one or two people that are good Christians.  These are the people that you want to bring.

The third step occurs when the first two fail.  If the person refuses to heed you or listen to you, then you take it to the church.  This doesn’t mean that you stand up in the pulpit and announce that so and so is doing such and such wrong.  What this means is that you take it to the ad board or a group of church leaders and tell them.  Then they as a group will talk to the person.

And if all of these things fail, then we are to treat them like a tax collector or a pagan.  Notice that we are not to reject these people.  We are not to ostracize them.  We are not to shun them.  We are to treat them like pagans or unbelievers.  In other words, you are to love them as you are to love everyone.  Even though they may have been part of us once and they are not in our church anymore, wyou are to love them anyway.  This is the love that Jesus shows to us.  This is the love that Jesus shows to everyone.  Therefore, if you are to be the presence of Jesus in this broken world, you are to love everyone, even those who have left our church.  The purpose here is not to disassociate with the people but it is still to win them over to Christ.

Jesus has now given us instructions to resolve conflict.  Next He gives us a little warning about our church.  The language used here is a little bit confusing.  But what Jesus means here in verse 18 is that our church as a body has to be in line with the teachings of Christ.  We are given the authority to do all of this but we have to be in prayer and fellowship.  Unfortunately we have many so-called churches today that are not at all in line with the teachings of Jesus.

This is another of the reasons why this might not work in the secular world or the secular church.  We need to be in prayer and fellowship.  Even in our churches we see people who are lone rangers.  These are the people who come to church and say they like this part here and that part at the next church and still another part in a third church.  People like this do more harm to a church than good.  These people have no fellowship and they lose their authority.  It is the same for the person who says that they worship God in nature.  Or that they can only communicate with God with no one else around.  Please understand this.  Our relationship with God is only as good as our relationships to each other.

Christianity is a communal religion.  We are commanded many times in the Bible to love the Lord with all of our heart, our soul and our mind and to love our neighbor as ourselves.  This means that you come to Christ on our own and you talk to Christ on our own.  But you also do other things with each other.  You come here each week because you want to be lifted up so you can get through another week.  Every person here today is extra special in the eyes of God.  God loves each and every one of you.  That is why God gives us all of these instructions.  God wants what is the very best for all of us and this is another way to achieve this.

So remember this the next time you are thinking of not coming to church.  You are hurting yourself by not coming into community with God.  You are the one that will suffer the eternal consequences.  You are the one that will be sliding closer to the hands of the enemy.  And you also hurt everyone else who comes to church.  You hurt them because you are not in fellowship with them.  You lose track of their hurts, their sorrows and joys.  You lose track of what is happening in the fellowship.  When you skip church, everyone loses.  And that is exactly what God doesn’t want to happen.

And Jesus tells us this in verses 19-20.  When we are in fellowship with each other and prayer with God, then where two of us gather to ask, it will be done.  I don’t know how many times I have been with people who quote this and expect something to happen when we haven’t seen them in fellowship for 3 months.  People expect this to work when they proclaim they are Christians but don’t practice being a Christian.  This is God’s rule book.  God tells us how to do things for our own good.  And even though the rules are not that hard, we still like to skip to the end.  We like to read the last chapter first.  We want to skip all the work and get to the rewards.  And I’m afraid that is not how it works.

Hopefully you can see the plan God has.  God loves you so much that He sent Jesus to live and die for you.  God, the Father, had this book written for you.  God loves and cares for you more than you will ever imagine.  I would like each person listening or reading today to do a little self-analysis.  How are you doing in following the instructions?  How is it with your life?  How is it with your soul?  Then you should ask yourself, “How can I make it better?”  If you only come once in a while to church, try to make it twice in a while.  If you skip all the fellowship, try hanging around a little while.  Let’s see if we can get on the same page as Jesus by taking it a step at a time.  We can all get in better tune with Jesus.

I know and I guarantee you that there is no better feeling than you have after you have spent 10 minutes of quiet time talking to Jesus.  There is no better feeling than when you have fed the hungry and helped the poor.  There is no better feeling than when you have solved a conflict according to Jesus.

Jesus wants to come to you and embrace you.  It doesn’t matter if you have been a little wayward.  He will help you get back on track.  This is what Jesus loves to do.  So go to Him, seeking guidance and comfort.  Go to Jesus as He stands waiting for you with open arms.  Go to Him and let His love flow over you and through you.  This is the greatest feeling that you can have.  Jesus loves you this I know.  All I can do is thank Him for His patience and mercy.  And thank you, Jesus, for first loving us.  Let’s pray.