8/20/23 Ephesians 4:25-5:2 “Have Passionate Lives!”

16 Aug 8/20/23 Ephesians 4:25-5:2 “Have Passionate Lives!”

8/20/23    Ephesians 4:25-5:2          “Have Passionate Lives!”

I love to watch kids play.  As I get older and being a grandpa, I love to see how they interact with each other at various stages of life.  With little ones, we get to see how they are the center of their world during playtime.  I think mom and dad are pretty much the center at other times.  How many times have we all heard that this particular toy is mine?  This is just natural as the youngsters are learning how to behave and share.  I have had the honor and privilege over the years to work with teens of various ages.  As I may have mentioned, these young people are always trying on different roles because others their age are doing the same.  I would never know when I left them in the spring, who they would be when I saw them again in the fall.  And this is a good thing also because, at some point, we all have to find out who we are.  Today’s Scripture lesson is trying to tell us who we are in Christ.  There are certain things that God wants us to do so that we can have better lives.  Basically this means that we are to strive to be more Christ like.  There is a lot in these few verses so let’s see if we can find a way to a better life.

David Dykes tells this wonderful story of an email he received.  The story goes that a first grader named Timmy walked with his friends to school every day.  His mother was worried about him and wanted to keep her eye on him but she didn’t want to embarrass him.  So she asked their neighbor, Mrs. Shirley Goodnest, if she would mind walking behind Timmy and his friends as they walked to school.  This worked really well because normally every morning Shirley would put her toddler Marcy into her stroller and they would walk to get some exercise. Now she could watch Timmy at the same time.  This was like getting two birds with one stone.

For the next several mornings, Mrs. Goodnest could be seen pushing her stroller behind Timmy and his friends.  Finally after several days of this, one of Timmy’s friends asked him if he knew who it was that was following them every morning.  Timmy said, “Sure, that’s our neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest and her first name is Shirley.  And that is her little daughter Marcy in the stroller.”  His friend then asked, “Doesn’t it bother you that they are following us?”  This is the part I just love.  Timmy said, “No it doesn’t bother me because it is in the Bible.  Every night my mom reads the 23^rd Psalm to me and it says, ‘Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life.’ So I guess that I’ll just have to get used to it!”  Sometimes I just crack myself up!

Anyway, the first thing that Paul tells the Ephesians is to put away their falsehood.  He wanted them to speak only the truth.  Now I don’t know a lot about Ephesus at this time.  But it was a hub of all sorts of pagan religions.  I would imagine that these people were a lot like us in that they worked hard for a living.  Maybe it was expected in their culture to not tell the truth.  Maybe they were expected to lie.

We probably live in similar conditions today.  I know that when I was growing up, everyone’s wheat and barley crop was at least 10 bushels to the acre higher than actuality.  We would tell others that our cars could go faster than they actually could.  Now that I stop to think about it a little, I guess we pretty much exaggerated everything we did.  In other words, we told a lot of small lies.

Most of the time these were just innocent stretches of imagination that mattered to no one.  But this is really the worst kind of thinking.  We were young people, like our young people I just talked about who try on different roles.  By telling these simple untruths, we were trying on the role of a liar and no one seemed to care.  I think that most of us turned out to be pretty good in the long run but I can’t help but think how much better we might have been if we had just been raised in a culture that valued the truth.

What Paul is trying to say here is that we hurt each other if we don’t tell the truth.  I don’t care what the topic is, it is much better to tell the truth about it.  This is better for all parties concerned especially those where little ears might be listening.  Paul is saying to model the truth.  Tell the truth in all that you do.  You have heard me say this many times.  If you tell a lie, then you have to tell 2 more lies to cover the first one.  Then you have to tell 4 more to cover the next two.  From just a logistic outlook, you have so much less to remember if you tell the truth.  I think we have all known people who have told so many lies that they cannot keep them straight and they end up in trouble.  Just tell the truth.  It is so much easier and it is what God wants.

So we are to put all false things behind us because, for one reason, we are all connected together.  It is pretty easy to see how the pastor is connected to all the people but it is a little harder to see how you are all connected to each other.  It might be a little easier here, because many of you know each other so well.

The people in the time of Paul were just learning about such things.  In their culture, it was the village that came first.  They would protect the village at all costs because in return the village protected them.  So it was a little strange that individuals were to be important.  But it is rather easy to see.  If one of the Christians did something bad, then they all got the bad name.  If one of them committed a crime, all would get part of the blame.

Things are the same way today.  I know many Democrats who are Christians and good Christians but the public doesn’t perceive this.  There are many issues where people think that Christians all believe one way or another because we are painted to have such opinions.  Even in our own small churches we are thought to think like this or be like that because that is what everyone else thinks or worse yet, that is how others perceive us.  Then on a different line to thinking, when one of us gets hurt, we all hurt.  When one of us is glad, we all get a little happier.  Whether we like it or not, we are all connected as a community of believers.  Therefore, don’t lie, don’t steal, and don’t talk evil because it reflects on everyone who comes here.  We are a community of believers and no matter what we do, it affects all of us.

Paul then goes on to list several things that we are not to do.  One of the lines we remember most about this passage comes in verse 26.  Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.  In other words, we can be angry at the things that hurt us or hurt our community of believers.  This is ok.  But do not let this anger lead to sin.

This thought is a whole sermon or maybe even a sermon series.  It is our human nature to get angry at things and then try to get revenge.  We have been doing this since the beginning of time.  Cain killed Abel in a jealous fit of revenge because he thought God liked Abel better.  Jacob stole Esau’s birthright and Esau wanted revenge.  Samson extracted revenge upon his enemies.  The list goes on and on.  History is full of anger and revenge.  Wars have been fought and millions of people have died because of our inability to control our anger.

I don’t want to stay focused on the past from our history books, but I want to bring this point home to us.  Have you ever been so angry that you have caused hurt in someone else?  I am very sorry to say that I would have to be the first to raise my hand and admit my guilt.  I have done this many times.  You don’t raise children without a little anger.  You cannot be married without a little anger.  You cannot have friends without a little anger.  All this is natural.  What Paul is saying is that don’t let this anger escalate into you committing a sin against someone else.  If you are angry with someone, then take it to them right away.  Get rid of that anger before you go to bed or you will be thinking about revenge all night and by morning it will be much worse.

Now you can go to the online bookstore and buy many different books that will tell you how to get rid of your anger.  I had a fellow tell me that he tied a little stuffed animal to a string and hung it up in a doorway.  Every time he felt anger taking control of his life, he would go and hit that stuffed animal until his anger went away.  You can do this if you want but I have a better idea for us.

This is a little tip that works for all sorts of bad behavior.  It works for bitterness, anger, rage, slander along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another.  Once again we see that the plan of God is pretty simple.  Paul has just finished giving us some of the bad behaviors that we must try to avoid.  For the most part these are emotional responses of some kind that will get us nowhere.  For instance, where will unwholesome talk get you?  If you back stab someone verbally, the only thing you will get is maybe a temporary, fleeting satisfaction.  I have heard people curse at a shovel.  I am sure that the shovel understands every word.  Chances are you will get no satisfaction at all.

The people of Ephesus were no different than us.  They would get mad.  They would take things into their own hands without the help of God.  They would talk bad about people behind their backs.  Paul is trying to tell us that this is not what the people of God do.  We are to be kind and compassionate with each other.

What does this mean?  I have talked to several people about this.  Kindness is really becoming a lost art form and with this lost art form, we are losing civilization.  One time I met a woman who would get very upset if you held the door for her.  She has some sort of agenda and I guess that is all right.  But what she didn’t realize is that I hold the door for men, women and children.  I hold the door for people.  I am trying to be kind.  Another way to be kind is to say please and thank you for everything.  Say these words all the time and not just when you are expected to say them.  These are just small things to do as acts of kindness.  I also think the best time to be kind is when the person you are being kind to cannot return the favor.  Another thing about when you are being kind.  It is pretty hard, some say impossible, to stay mad or to be doing bad things when you are kind.  Remember it was through the kindness of Jesus Christ that you have been saved.  Let’s praise the Lord for that.

I also say that if you are compassionate, anger will flee.  I think that being compassionate is simply taking all these good traits that Jesus wants us to have and internalizing them.  They become a part of our lives.  It becomes just natural for us to be kind, to love, to be gentle.  When you practice the fruits of the Spirit, the bad things have to leave because they are from the devil.  When you are practicing being like Jesus, there is no room for Satan.  Jesus always wins and Satan always loses.

You are also to practice forgiveness.  I just read an article on the internet and we can be assured of its accuracy because it was on the internet, which by the way is a quick road to bad behavior.  Anyway, they said that forgiving is not always the best thing to do.  Give me a break!  What planet are these people from?  Sometimes I just shake my head at what goes on inside someone else’s head.  Anyway, forgiving is always the best policy.  Over and over and over again we are told in the Bible by God, Jesus and many of the writers to forgive others.  Our Lord’s Prayer tells us to forgive as Jesus has forgiven us.

There is a story by Barry Edmondson that will help us see the point of forgiveness.  It seems that 2 monks were walking along the road and they spied an old woman sitting at the edge of a river.  She was crying and upset because there was no bridge and she couldn’t get across the river.  The first monk offered to carry her across and she accepted.  So the two monks clasped their hands together and carried her across.  After they got across they set the woman down and went back to their journey.

After traveling a mile or so, the second monk began to complain.  He said, “Look at my clothes.  They are wet and filthy from carrying that woman across the river.  And my back hurts.  I can feel it stiffen up as we walk.”  The first monk just smiled and nodded his head and they kept going for a few more miles.  Finally the second monk started griping again.  He said, “My back hurts so badly from carrying that silly woman across the river that I don’t think I can travel any farther.”  The first monk looked down on his partner who was now sitting on the ground.  Then he said, “Have you wondered why I’m not complaining?  Your back hurts because you are still carrying that woman, but I set her down five miles ago.”

How many of you are still carrying an emotional overload or a hate from yesterday or last week or last year or worse yet from another decade?  You get rid of these things through forgiveness.  Go to Jesus to ask for forgiveness.  Even if you must forgive someone else, start with Jesus.  Go to Him first.  Always go to Jesus first.  He will help you with whatever the problem is.  He is there just for you.

If you do this now and do it often, soon kindness will become a passion for you.  The other fruits of the Spirit will also become a passion.  Your life will become passionate.  This is how you grow in Christ.  This is the way to a better life and not through the internet or Dr. Phil, or the View but through Jesus!  Jesus loves you all the time and it never stops.  Go to Him and give your life to Him.  I praise Him daily for the love that He gives to you.  Accept it.  Embrace it.  And thank you, Jesus, for first loving us.  Let’s pray.